By: Ann Kagarise
I have been hearing a lot about FASD kids going back to school and adjusting. I just read a post on an FASD teen going off to school and the major adjustments she is having to make cuz of all the change. She wrote…
I know for me, whenever I experience an extreme change; I get uneasy and it will take me a couple weeks to adjust to a new routine. In overload mode, I crash and hard. Its the overload of new people, new expectations etc.
I just started a new job. As an adult with FASD, I can say the feelings of overload are just as much there now as they were as a kid. I don’t think the feelings and overload are any different. The only difference is how I deal with it differently. This week was one of my hardest weeks in a very long time. My routine was different. Everyone around me during the day was new. People I dont know at all and I don’t trust. Even if they told me they are really amazing people and I should trust them, it will take some time. Being FASD, you need people around you who you can look to as external brains. I constantly rely on others around me. I look to them to tell me what I need to do. I judge their actions and facial expressions to let me know if something is unsafe or ok. I have the inability to judge understand a lot around me. It is crucial that I trust the people in the room who are guiding me for that moment.
Change is a scary thing. Change alone can make stress go up so much for us that we can fight overload immediately. I spent the week in a new job and then spent the weekend totally consumed in busy. My skin has been hurting so much the last day, I could cry. I start work again tomorrow and it will be completely busy all week again. I know that my down time needs to be absolutely priority for this next week or I will hit a wall.
Today I was out and I was talking with someone and I did just that. My entire body had like this what I call short circuit in the brain. It is literally from too much overload on my body. My mouth just stopped and my entire being just stopped for a few moments. it was so hard for me to come out of it. Normally, I would just go off and recover from that, but I couldnt. I took about 20 minutes before I said anything to the people I was with and then I gradually came out of it. When that happens, I know that I have pushed it beyond my limit.
Staying quiet and being completely focused on what I need to do to not take overload into a meltdown is crucial for the next week. Fortunately, I love the new job. I am currently organizing the office and for me, organizing is a calm.
New environments. New people. New assignments. Trying to understand the new around us. Trying to figure out what we are supposed to do next or even first. Trying to figure out how to execute in a new place outside of our routine…All very very tough.
For those caregivers, I feel for you. Patience is the best gift you could give all of us. Let your FASD person do what they need to in order to calm. Anything repetition that works for them would be good. Someone told me today that a person they knew who had autism just would comb and comb her hair and it was calming for them. I know for me sometimes it is writing or a bath. Also, leave more room for error. Frustration is already up and when that happens, there is more chance for misunderstanding cues and knowing what to do. As we settle and new routines become just a normal routine…we will be good…But it takes time.